STUPID QUESTIONS AND SARCASTIC REPLIES

I PARTICULARY hate when people are being sarcastic, especially to me, and I hate it more when they enjoy the fact that their sarcastic comments is making the other person it's directed at very angry and related. However, there are some questions, and situations that require sarcasm, below are a list of situations and questions that require the highest aount of sarcasm because they are either to obvious or otherwise to stupid to ask. RWS stands for reasons why the question is stupid.

 

 

1. At a restaurant, when someone asks you the waiter: IS THE RICE AND SHRIMP STEW GOOD?
   Answer: NO it's terrible, it's made from cement and cow dung, in fact we occasionally spit in it.
   RWS: Even if it's bad u don't expect the waiter to tell you it is, she obviously wnts 2 kip the job.

2. At a family get together when you see a very distant uncle or aunt you haven't seen in a while, and she says: Oh my, Jacob, you've grown really big.
Answer:Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
3. When you announce your wedding, and a friend asks: Is the Woman good?
Answer: NO, she's a lesbian, a whore, a wrestler and a husband beater... i'm in it for the money.
  
4. When you get woken up at midnight with a phone-call, and the caller says: Sorry, where you asleep?
Answer: (After yawning, in ur most sleepy voice, you say:) No, I was doing research whether the Zulu tribes in Africa Marry or not. You must be really stupid to think I was sleeping.
5. When you see a friend with evidently shorter hair and you ask: Hey did you get a hair cut?
Answer: No, it's autumn, plus I have systemic lupus so I am shedding.
6.A friend is closing his eyes and about covering hi head with a blanket and you ask: Are you trying to sleep?
Answer: Of course not, I am practising how to die. 

7.You're in ur office and a colleague comes to see you asking where another colleague is.
Answer: (After looking through your files, under your desk, and inside your pocket, you say: I have no idea and he's not in any of these places I just checked. 
8.You're bleeding, and someone asks: Are you ok?
Answer: (after taking a good incredulous look at the fellow, say: Yes i'm fine i'm just sitting here bleeding cos it's fun..
9. Maybe you've just woken up and you're making breakfast, and ur mother says: Are you up already?
Answer: Of course not mum, I am sleepwalking 

10. When a friend needs a number and is scrolling through your phone and when he gets to the number, he says, “This is the number to Chicken Hut right.”
Answer: No that's Victoria's Secret. 
11. You're in an elevator and someone asks: Is this the elevator to go up Answer: no this is the one to go sideways.
12.When you have your arm in strings and you're using crutches and your friends ask: What's wrong with you?
Answer: (after taking a look at your crutches and stringed arm, say: I have a tooth ache. 
13.  When you're at a bus stop waiting for a bus and someone comes up to you and ask: Are you waiting for a bus.
Answer: No, I am waiting for my flight
14.  When you're about going out in the rain and someone asks: Are you going out in this rain?
Answer: Nope, in the next one. 
15.  When you return from somewhere and your spouse asks: Are you back?
Answer: No, this is just my spirit, my body will be back in a few days. 
Now for all those who r fund of asking this stupid questions, either accidentally or cos you cant help it, come back to this blog again, and you'll see the best retaliation to sarcastic replies